there are many things on my mind these days, which make me unable to sleep. its like ive been awaken from a long meaningful dream to have to confront the world again. yes, this world which keeps on its course to collision. listening to cure´s cats are grey, on a repetitive sequence, remembering something of my past... i cant fully grasp nor identify.

and now you... probably the only blood saken friend id encountered in these lands, readin my lines. ironic how i once condemned you, and now you can condemn me and yet we seem to share many likes as brothers lost in time and space.
ive always left myself out, the real me, playing a game and playing a shade. the truth is ive never wanted to be disturbed by anyone, and for long periods of my life, i wanted to live as a ghost on the boundaries of life. these boundaries that marked my life as a spectator sitting in a theater and watching the world change from one country to the next. how could i not become a spectator, it was all so surprising, so changing, so curious and so confusing. there were no subtitles other than the thoughts that arouse in you as one grew older and eyes could catch the meaningful things of that period. i never grew on the same pace than those of my contemporaries, maybe a little delayed or more wise, either way, i always felt as walking thru the boundaries of life like tiptoes on a scenery, detached-.

i often feel like a forsaken vampire. finding ways to sleep thru years and then suddenly awakening to taste life again. searching for love, and for new feelings, searching in new places and in different ways... a mockery. i say so to myself because after all, if id reveal all my truth, i surely be condemned as moliere´s hero for injurating hell and heaven, even love. anyways ive always found life to be highly critical, and much of its pleasures, petty.